Sunday, May 31, 2009
Attention in Alignment with Intention = Joy!
It's been a few weeks since the flow of my creative thoughts have been expressed in this form. I had a (temporary) illusion of the equivalent of a network shutdown from a 'blown circuit'.
With the overload of activities of recent weeks with Business Training, writing in preparation for my first edit for my book, internet business coaching, traveling and completely out of routine, my mind somewhat resembled a cerebral circus, with the finale of all acts on stage, bending, twisting and contorting the inside of my skull ending with a tremendous thump!
Actually, it was more like a sudden protest! With all Acts coming to a grinding halt! All neurons rebelling against the lack of attention and applause for their entertaining deeds. For the audience (me) observing these acts went into a mind-numbing procrastination not sure of what to do with all the distraction...
The problem was...
I was in my head... instead of my heart.
How did I get there? How did I shift (and momentarily regress) from the heart-felt spiritual awareness I have been living in and enjoying so much these last months, to a place of baron lands filled with fear, doubt, worry, and uncertainty. A place where the ego dominates with such force (illusion) with the tools of emotions that have us feeling separate from the whole.
I had ignored the internal GPS, the inner guidance of my heart... momentarily thinking I could use my will to create additional results, against my gut instinct. I let the chatter of my mind (ego) to justify and convince it's activities to distract me from the truth.
In my brain fog I reached out to a few 'teachers' for external advice. Some of it resonated with my spirit and and some of it; my mind grasped the suggestions and momentarily threw a veil over them, filtering the experience with reasons, justifications and excuses... finally causing me to feel anxious in thought and detached from my spirit.
I had pulled out the old illusion from the recess of the attic of my mind, dusted it off and mounted this belief on the mantle-piece of my fore-mind: I bought back into the old belief I was separate again from the Divine purpose of my life.
Thank God, I had the presence of mind to remember to pull the 'emergency break' and STOP!
A few days ago I decided to give myself permission to take a three day break.
For the past week, I had been berating myself for not meeting the high-level tasks on a daily basis, which I am so well accustomed to do. Normally, I can have a blog written, two chapters done, a business deal, several phone calls, meditation and yoga practice all done before 11:30 a.m.! And then the day would be filled with further creative endevours.
But this week, with my mind leading, all order was thrown into chaos without much action taken.
It's when we stop, that the heart speaks. The soul silently whispers in a voice clear enough for us to listen. The authentic beat of our heart creates a harmonic rhythm which draws us back into the flow of our life... Instead of struggling against the current upstream, I'm now floating downstream again enjoying the current moment.
Our heart is our best teacher and really the only one we MUST listen to.
The key is gratitude. And being present in the now. It keeps us conscious of our life force in alignment with the beat of our heart.
What I have relearned (again) this week is clarity. Of what I want. Of what is my heart and soul's purpose. Of what drives me. I've also learned of the few repressed emotions, which I had unconsciously been smothering with a field of distractions.. so I lovingly attended to the emotional 'child' with kindness, like a mother with unconditional love would.
The truth is. Everything is an illusion. And the dramas and concerns we can make up in our head, creating elaborate conversations and even rehearsing counter-discussions to our perceived circumstances, are simply a detour made with the mind to falsely believe it can control the heart.
The heart wins every time.
The heart knows your life intention.
I have learned these few weeks, that when our attention is not in alignment with our INTENTION, then we ache, contract, think small, act small..
But when our attention is in alignment with our intention, we are in the flow of life... and experience a joyous bliss without cause, simply in gratitude for life.