Thursday, April 30, 2009
On THIS day last year, I was still mid-flight to Fresno from Perth. It was a long flight, and often uncomfortable as I had the middle seat the entire journey, except from LAX to Fresno, where I had a window seat on a smaller 'buzz' plane.
We ('the man who came to collect me,' from here on in I will call him 'Mr. G') arrived at his house, where not long after I met his two young and very beautiful children. There was obviously the boundless joy from them to see their father, and an instant connection with me.
Jet-lagged, unsettled and finding my space, I spent much of that first evening unpacking my bags (I took three!) and catching up on emails and business back in Australia over the internet. I had felt an odd tension, and felt I was honoring Mr G. by giving him some space to spend time reconnecting with the kids after more than two weeks apart.
It was to my amazement later that evening that the space I had provided apparently wasn't appreciated. The next thirty hours became an interesting affair... with tension, distance and odd behavior.
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Today as I reflected on this time last year, I flashed back to the disconnected feeling I felt within myself and the situation.
As a cleanse, I spent this afternoon going through my wardrobe to clear out clothes I no longer wanted or needed, or quite frankly don't fit me at the moment. The last year's journey has taken it's toll on my body. I'm now a significant size bigger than when I left for the USA the first time. (However, I'm toning up again with regular walking and yoga :).
I bagged up my clothes and took it to the Good Samaritan store down the road. Handing the gentleman the bags, I said "Thank You!" as I loved forward half my wardrobe.
The man taking my bags said, "No worries," which confused me a little. I guess I had thought he might say "Thank You" for my gift. But I guess that blessing will be in the hands of the person who needs the clothes the most.
When I got back into my car I took a moment to check in with how I felt. Free! I felt lighter, unattached.
I paid attention to a learning popping itself up in my mind.
Sometimes in life, it's not about what we ADD. Rather it's about what we LET GO of.
In this fast paced world we are always collecting and buying more 'stuff'. Or we are seeking a relationship or that certain job to 'fulfill' us. I sat in contemplation of my thoughts. We are so conditioned, unconsciously by our life experiences and the meanings we associate with them. We are unconsciously modeled by family and friends, teachers and close acquaintances, on what we should and shouldn't do; how life should look like; how we should behave; what we should think.
I am washed over with gratitude, as I smile at where I am today, compared to a year ago. The journey I have been through has helped me awaken to my conscious self. Allowing me to reshape my life: reshaping my beliefs; becoming clear on my values; and living with an authentic heart.
In order for me to come to this place so far in my life, I have had to learn to LET GO of a lot of old beliefs that didn't serve me anymore, or perhaps never did. It's amazing to DECIDE what you choose to believe. It certainly assists with being in the flow of life and taking the driver's seat so to speak, instead of being driven on auto-pilot by unconscious factors, usually belief systems that once held me back.
What beliefs do you hold as true, that are limiting you from fulfilling the life of your dreams, by YOUR design?
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
It was exactly one year ago today that I left for the USA for the beginning of what became a GRAND adventure... I left Australia (with a 3 month plan) to follow the illusion of love. That relationship didn't turn out to be anything like I had anticipated, but it was a wonderful gift.
It was the gateway to an extraordinary adventure, learning to live my life to the fullest...guided by my heart and listening to the call of my spirit...
I remember waiting to board my flight with the 'man who came to collect me' (we had met in Fiji at a 'Life Mastery' event in February 2008 and now had spent two weeks together in my home town in Perth, Western Australia).
Our flight was delayed four hours. We ended up leaving for Fresno, California for what was to be a thirty three hour journey from Perth -> Melbourne -> LAX -> Fresno... The journey was an adventure in itself, and I nearly stalled my passage to cross the borders of Australia. Mid-flight to Melbourne I woke up from a slumber, seriously ill and searching for a 'barf bag'. Unable to find one in the back-seat pocket of the seat in front of me, and cursing the 'invisible' call 'attendant' button I had gotten up from my seat, only to race towards the first-class lavatory - collapsing and fainting as I pulled down the divider curtain!
Wow.. did I cause a kerfuffle!
I created quite a scene, as my body was sending all it's alarm bells to me that my intuition was off. The attendants quickly relocated several other passengers to create a make-shift bed for my now horizontal body in it's altered state of consciousness. I was equipped with an oxygen mask, blasting dry air down the back of my throat. I lay still, aware that my body was literally trying to arrest my motion of leaping into a life with this man.
I ignored that feeling, and concentrated with all my might to will myself well.. for I realized if I wasn't deemed well enough to travel now, they'd delay my flight to the USA.. and I knew I had to get on that next plane, despite the intuitive effects of being with this man.
Something was calling me to America...
I made it onto that next flight..... and the adventure grew into an incredible journey..
*** *** *** ***
Each day I will reflect a little on the day a year before, and where I am at now.
Right now, I am back in Perth, Western Australia - ready to pack my bags and leave for the USA AGAIN (this time alone and single) almost a year to the date! I was reflecting on this today and giggling at the comical 'co-incidence'.
My purpose to head back this time, is to leap at the opportunity I have to pitch my book idea to a US publisher.
My book is about the physical and spiritual journey of the last twelve months.. I have traveled many parts of the USA, Fiji, India, Peru, The Amazon, Argentina, Antarctica, and Hawaii (ok, it's part of the USA, but a separate dream come true for me)... and this is all in the last twelve months!
I'm attending a special event in early June to have access to some of USA's book publishers. I'm going to Mark Victor Hansen's (Co-Author of "Chicken Soup For The Soul") event, a "Mega Book Marketing" course as a Diamond Premier Attendee - a.k.a. I'll get to connect and spend quality time with all the right people.
I also have other events to attend to as well, but I will share more in due time...
I leave on May the 4th...
I am a woman who has experienced two marriages and now two divorces by the young age of 32. Plus seven years in the West Australian Ambulance service as a Transport Officer and a Paramedic, spending the last two and half years of that service in a dusty mining town in the north west - Port Hedland, Australia...
The journey I have been on is a world apart from picking up the sick and injured... For a while I limped along with my own emotional injuries, until I opened my heart to my own healing. I now live a life based on my terms, a life of balance and healing, a paradigm shift in many of my beliefs, and living at cause in my life instead of at the effect...
Enjoy this journey with me... this is my dream, my vision, my unique footprint on the path of life.