Friday, November 20, 2009
Hitting a Cross Road... What to do when you are confused about your direction.
Have you noticed as you travel on your life journey, and come to a cross-road, sometimes you're happy to cruise forward with grace and certainty of your direction? Then other times, you come to a T-junction and stand still: baffled, confused, even 'stuck' about which way to go?
These last few weeks I had been living in the illusion of "needing" to get a lot of stuff prepared and done before heading back to the USA for a three week journey. With my attention climbing it's way up into my head space, I've come to the realization today that I simply needed to pause to look for the elevator, gracefully walk over to it and take the express ride back down into my heart.
Being still. No further impact. All additional information, access denied.
Information overload and juggling many acts can lead to overwhelm, or hyper-stimulation, neither being a resourceful space to be living in.
My chiropractor assessed and re-balanced me again today. With care and compassion, and a depth of heart-felt love that radiated from his soul, he helped me quieten my body, relax, reconnect and.. breathe.
"You know," he gently says, "us humans sometimes forget that we don't need to struggle or push forward to do so many things at once. That instead, we are designed to float, gently and with ease."
My spirit and body ached for some STILLNESS, and for some nurturing.
On my way home I treated myself to a new pajama set, fluffy slippers and a bathrobe I could melt into. My purpose for the rest of the day was to sleep, rest, meditate, be still...
It became clear that my usual tool-set to deal with my life challenges was only going to be of use to me after meeting my most pressing need....
When I awoke, after several hours of uninterrupted slumber, a smile dawned, and a new light spread across my face and soul. It broadened as I internally witnessed my inner dialogue of automatic gratitude again. Then my visualization of each area of my life as I choose to design it.
A sigh of relief passed over my lips. I felt the presence of familiarity of being back in my usual empowered state.
A short and gentle walk with my dogs elevated my state even more. The cool air cleansing my head, airing it out like a house with the windows open to let the flow of new air breathe through and allow the stale air to dissipate.
With my body in motion, I now realized that a part of the disconnection had come as a result of adding in too much input these last few weeks, without the opportunity to let the brain cool down.
I likened my situation to a recent and parallel experience with my laptop. I had chosen to re-install my old operating system, erasing everything and starting again, only to load it up quickly with lots of new programs whilst still demanding it to work effectively. I'd been expecting the same function of myself.
Now I realize, that I made a major error in judgment with both my demands on the computer and myself.
I forgot to reboot after loading each program, causing a series of 'synaptic junctional confusion'. The system didn't know how to read the programs so instead it just went into stall mode.
Today, on rebooting my computer with the aid of a friendly assistant from Apple support, I made the connection of how I had arrived in the (head) space I had found myself in.
So I followed my innate intelligence, and went to bed in the middle of the day and just rebooted my system.
As Eckhart Tolle says, 'Stillness speaks.'
I'm now positioned back in the 'gap,' connected to both my heart and and my head with a communication line functioning effectively.
Sometimes at a cross-road or any junction in life, it's best to just park the car and turn the engine off. Allow it to cool down. In looking up from your pause you see the directional street sign in front of you, now visible because of your new position. It's no longer hidden behind the noise of an advertising billboard that looms in an attempt to distract you to the lure of it's hypnotic promises.
I'm happily singing, "I'm on the road again." This time, with an itinerary to pause regularly along the way to stop and soak in the beauty of the journey, measured by the depth of my gratitude and joy....and enjoying the stillness.